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Origin of the [Athenian] Species!

A great many myths reflected and shaped classical Athens’s self perception. Athenians claimed to be indigenous to the land, as opposed to being descendents of invaders. Their claim to pure, unadulterated indigenous heritage is supported by the twisted tale of Erichthonius, the first King of Athens.

Erichthonius (name translation: “troubles born from the earth”) was born of Earth when Athena, after narrowly avoiding a rape attempt by a handicapped God of technology/craftsmen/metallurgy named Hephaestus, cleaned his ejaculate from her thigh and dropped the semen soaked rag onto the ground.

Now Athena was a virgin and did not want to seem impure. So she decided to raise Erichthonius secretly. To this end, she put him in a box and gave him to the three daughters of King Crecops, telling them never to open the box. Two of the daughters opened the box to find either a) a half child-half-serpent or b) a snake wrapped around a baby. Either way, they were so freaked out that they jumped off the Acropolis and died.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is the mythic origin of Athens. Yeesh.

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